Per item handling fee - why is this so hard!

[gracefuli]

Help- i am now totally frustrated. i have searched & read threads in the user forum and help, and i just can not get this to work properly!
In shipping, i have enabled free shipping over $35. but there are a few items that are excluded. (Can not find anywhere a place to choose exclude these items)
Here is what i have tried:
1. product: under the excluded item - i have checked "Extra handling fee" and listed $13 (doesn't do anything)
2. shipping: i have checked off; enable handling charges. (i have tried leaving other handling fee spaces blank; or base $3.00 or 13.00 all with no results)
3. free shipping over $35 enabled and seems to over-ride everything else.
4. under shopping cart; i have filled in surcharge text (** Please note: Some items are excluded from free or discounted shipping. Please check here: (if a surcharge is MISTAKENLY reflected in cart. This will NOT BE CHARGED WHEN PROCESSED.)
Then surcharge pull down menu with a list of those items excluded and added the programming to add the surcharge.

I'm sure no items are excluded from discounted shipping; +0
I have ordered a Dizzy Disc; +17
I have ordered a Seat Cushion; +10
I have ordered paper; p +5

BUT this is not very user friendly and requires another step for the customer to do or another reason to abandon cart! How can i make this better! We are using shopsite pro 12 sp3 r2.1

thank you-

[ShopSite David]

If you want to exclude some products from Free Shipping then your best option is to use a Coupon for Free Shipping instead of the blanket Free Shipping feature if you meet a minimum dollar amount. With the coupon you can specify what products it applies to thus excluding the ones you want to charge shipping for. You can tell shoppers to enter whatever coupon code you come up with for "Free Shipping". Another option is to assign that coupon as a default to customer registration. Then anyone that signs in would get the coupon. You could even advertise "Sign-in or Register to get Free Shipping"